I currenlty represent 8 persons who are preparing to go to trial for their very lives. This means that I am busier than most attorneys who do criminal work- and much more stressed. One by one my clients are being noticed for death, and this has an effect upon my psychy. My temper becomes short at times. Frustration spills over from the work place to the barn.
This past week, my new boy Witty, has progressed into real dressage training. Witty is a 4 year old 17 hand American Saddlebred - green as grass with an attitude. He is totally different that his "brother" Jordan. Jordan is a Clydesdale cross, schooled to 2nd level, with the most layed back attitude of any horse I know. He is forgiving- when my aids are not clear, he tolerates me until I get it straight. He always tries his best- mainly because he knows his job-ususally better than I do- and he's good at it.
Not so much with Witty. He is green as grass and just beginning to learn to move forward and accept the bridle- to actually carry himself. He is unbalanced in school figures and does not yet know lateral movement. What Jordan does automatically Witty must learn from scratch-and it's my responsibility to teach him.
On one such occasion this past week, I was tired and frustrated. I was teaching Witty to longe with little success. He knows how to longe, but he loves to spook at everything, fall into the circle, take off- basically act like the an equine idiot-becasue that is what green 4 year old hot blooded horses do. He was not being bad- he just wasn't being Jordan, and I was having none of it. As a result, I yelled at him, tried to force him to stay on the circle and basically allowed my frustration and bad day to spill over into his.
On the walk back to the barn, all I could think was that I had bitten off more than I could chew- that I had made a mistake thinking I could train another horse on my own (as I had with Jordan) with the kind of work load I had, and was trying to decide which trainer to ship him off to. When we reached his stall, I began to remove the equipment while he again refused to stand still. Over come with emotion, I began to cry. I leaned into his neck, sobbing....why couldn't he just get with the program?...why did everything have to be a fight with him? ...I have to fight every day in and out of court, I needed for him to give me a break!
And then the funniest thing happened....I felt his long, elegant neck come over my back, and pull me into his chest. I stood there crying- allowing the day's frustration to flow out of me with every tear- Witty just stood there, holding me, still and quiet. He got it. I allowed myself to be vulnerable and somehow- eventhough a different species- he got it! The next day, Witty was a different horse and we had a different relationship. I think he wanted to be vulnerable to- needed to let me know that he DIDN'T get it, but was wanting and willing to try. He just needed me to understand that he was not Jordan, didn't know what Jordan knew and couldn't do what Jordan could....yet. He just needed some understanding. He needed to lean on me as much as I needed to lean on him. We were not two separate teams at odds, but rather needed to be two members of the same team. If we could do that we would succeed...and have fun doing it.
Our training has turned a corner now. Witty has his head in the game and so do I. Lesson learned. A horse is a living, thinking creature. He will have good days and bad days, suffer frustration and elation. Whatever you think your needs are in a day-probably his are similar. Keep focused, but not necessarily on yourself. Allow yourself to support and be supported by your equine partner...lean on each other...when you both come to realize you need to be understood as much as to understand, get ready to win!
Very thoughtful post! Good reminder that it is not all about us (humans).
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